Regardless of who initiated the divorce, or if it’s a mutual decision, going through a divorce is never easy. There are a lot of emotions and personal feelings happening, as well as a big change in the lives of all parties involved.
When dealing with a divorce there are a few common mistakes that many people make. These mistakes can make the divorce process more difficult and may even potentially cause you to end up with an outcome you were hoping to avoid. Here are some of the most commonly made divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.
Not Obtaining Adequate Legal Counsel
It’s extremely important to have adequate legal counsel when going through a divorce. Failing to secure legal counsel or trying to represent yourself having an attorney who is not versed in divorce law can all be recipes for disaster. There are a lot of legal hoops to jump through when getting divorced, especially if you are dividing up assets, dealing with custody or working through an alimony agreement. The first thing you should do when the subject of divorce is brought up is to research your options and hire a divorce attorney to help you along the way.
It’s crucial that you are honest with your attorney and other agents of the court. Hiding things, lying and being untruthful will lead to nothing but trouble. Honesty will help you get through the process as quickly and painlessly as possible. Additionally, you need to be honest not only with yourself about the reality of what is happening, but also with your partner about your expectations.
Dismissing the Advice of Your Attorney
You’ve hired your divorce attorney to help you through this process, so dismissing their advice is not in your best interest. They know the legal system and are there to help you get the best outcome possible. Of course if you feel you are being given bad advice or being taken advantage of, you should seek a second opinion and hire a new attorney.
Acting Out of Anger, Hurt or Resentment
Divorce brings out a lot of very deep, personal feelings and it’s common for couples going through a divorce to be hurt, angry or resentful. This can often lead to doing and saying things to purposefully hurt the other person. Try to keep as calm as possible and if you’re having trouble controlling your emotions, request that all communication with your spouse be done through your attorneys, or try mediation to resolve the issue.
Choosing Yourself Over Your Children
If you are going through a divorce and you have children, keeping them and their well being should be your top priority. Many people try to use their children as pawns to hurt their spouse or get their way during the divorce. These actions will have lasting impacts on your children, so avoid them at all costs. Both parents should want to do whatever is best for their children to keep them safe and cared for.